Sunday night a dear friend of ours had us to her home with some of her friends for a ceremony: the removal of her hair before chemo caused it to fall out. It was an experience that I have not had before--it was not exactly making it a beautiful experience, but it was an act of loving assertion--where my friend would be surrounded by friends and she would go through a ceremony that combined humor, nature, blessings, politics, singing. It was heartbreaking insofar that none of us want to watch friends of ours have to journey with Cancer--and this is an especially beautiful person whose work has helped many, not the least of which are people in her native New Orleans. Now that we're six months past Katrina, one can see in the news that the people who live there (or lived there) are nowhere resembling normal. They have been let down--by their city, their state, their country. Our friend has deep roots in New Orleans. Thus this is more than a double-whammy. It's just inconceivable. But it is.

We gathered. She sat in a chair she had decorated with colorful ribbons. We sang "Hair" from the musical Hair. We sang the blessing that Moses said for his sister Miriam in the Torah "Al na rafa na la" -- "God, please heal her." We each participated in taking a lock of hair and tying it with the ribbon, to take with us to remind us of...whatever it is meant to remind us of...her, struggling with illness, New Orleans, blessings, the planet in need.

My blessing to her was taught to me by a 16-year-old who is living with grief after his father's death. He said he was going to get through his grief through loving others. I told our friend that we would be with her, enveloping her with love. No war metaphors for illness--just love.

Days like the ones are love are few and far between---yesterday, Shabbat, was one of those days. It began with reading the paper in bed, followed by breakfast in bed. Then on KUSC was a promo for the opera from the Met---Samson and Delila--which got me thinking: what do I know about this story? After all, I'm a future rabbi and this is in the book of Judges. So I read the story--and it's a page-turner. Samson has extraordinary strength and is not afraid to use it. There are many deaths. He falls in love with two women--and it is the second woman who coaxes the secret out of him to his strength. His hair cut, his enemies come and gouge out his eyes. Appealing to God, Samson, in the Philistine temple, is tied to two columns where in one final act, he is given his power back to destroy the temple, and all those within, including himself.

The facts of the story were changed for the opera and given a more Christological overtone---that Sampson had engaged in illicit sex which led to his eyes being gouged out (more in keeping with the theological idea of original sin).

In any event, read the story for yourself.

The rest of the day was spent between the LA and NY Times, the New Yorker, Lewis Thomas "The Youngest Science," an article from the NYTimes magazine written before Thomas died by Roger Rosenblatt, some Talmud study (Masechhet Berechot), and some reading for my Talmud class on Monday. In other words, a day of intellectual stimulation.

Speaking of stories, I just finished one I wish had not happened to the author: The Year of Living Magicially by Joan Didion, a story of the death of her husband and the illness of her only child. For such a subject matter, the book itself is quick reading, and compelling reading. Well worth picking up.

For me, reading such books gives me one more piece in the "big picture" of life that I will be dealing with as a rabbi---the highs and the lows and all that falls between. The extremes remind me why it's important to remember that every day is a day to be grateful for, and to live fully.

And now back to our previously-scheduled Sunday morning.

I had the opportunity to read quite a bit of history about King David today. It is worth commenting on the fact that our canonical texts record--warts and all--the frailties of the humans in them. Abraham, Moses, David---big names, and all of them didn't embody "perfection." In fact, sometimes they fell far from the mark given their intimate relationships with God. In many areas David was quite blessed--he was an accomplished warrior. His personal life left something to be desired. It's interesting that our tradition sources a future messiah to the line of David. What does that mean that this redemptive figure is a descendent of a flawed human? It certainly is a different idea than it being a human offspring of God.

So today I'm doing something counterintuitive: I'm going to miss a class. Let me explain. Ever since the woman ran into me last week I've been running my life as if nothing's happened. I've been tired, and a little sore, but I've made it to my classes on Tuesday and Wednesday. Well last night Yuval laid down the law: no class on Thursday and I'm going to take it easy over the weekend. In other words, even though I'm going to miss a class, which I don't like to do, I am not being given the choice because one of the lessons here is that I'm not super-rabbi-to-be, I'm just a plain ol' human. Hard lesson for me because I like to just keep moving forward. So today I'll move forward at a slower pace and continue my education by catching up on my reading.

The nicest thing happened today: I received a phone call from one of the elders at the Jewish Home in San Francisco to say that she was sorry that she had missed me last weekend when I visited. She had been under the weather--and because of my auto accident I was not at 100% either. It was nice to hear her say that I brighten their lives when I visit. What better job is there than this?

On Tuesday our "Rabbi in Hospital" class visited the Norris Cancer Center at USC where we heard from Dr. Alexandra Levine who is a warm, compassionate, and deeply knowledgeable cancer doctor. There is much to learn about helping sick people---and part of the equation is being fortunate to get a good doctor like Dr. Levine. Her presentation was moving as much of it was told through stories of her own experiences since 1971. Torah is story-telling, too--we transmit our narrative through stories. I commented to her after class what an appropriate and effective way to teach rabbinic students.

In the small world department I went to the doctor today to follow-up on the accident--and the doctor I had is on the faculty of USC's Keck Medical School--and his father is well-known to those of us in Jewish Studies--Jacob Milgrom. We're using Milgrom's book on Vayikra (Leviticus) in one class. Dr. Milgrom and I made an agreement that we would have lunch together soon to continue our conversation. Very cool!

Shavua tov!

What a week. When you're in the rabbinate, or going in that direction, you get to see, if not hear about, all aspects of the human condition. One of my colleagues who has a student pulpit in a western state had to deal last weekend with a domestic violence incident that turned into homicide. He had to stand with the children in the hospital as the life-support machines were unplugged.

Another friend of mine who is becoming a cantor in New York had to co-preside over a funeral of a 32 year old who jumped out of a building in New York. My friend had married him and his wife only two years before and was friendly with them. The suicide left a 30 year old widow and a one year old daughter.

In pastoral counseling class this past week we had someone in talking about depression. In my rabbi in hospital class we had a cardiologist speaking about heart disease.

It was quite a week.

I was quite looking forward to leaving LA and coming to San Francisco to be at the Jewish Home. I rented my nice roomy American Chevy Malibu and had swung around the building where I rented it. I was fourth in line at a red light at a dead stop and them WHAM a woman in a Toyota Camry hit me at a dead stop. The impact through me forward and back rapidly, the classic invitation to whiplash injuries. Suffice to say, it took a few hours to get the information and to wait,in vain, for the Oakland Police who never showed. A couple of sheriffs from Alameda Co. did show and told me there was nothing that could be done because the other party had long ago left. Don't worry: I have ALL of her information.

I took the injured car back to Budget and filled out the report, got another car, and drove to Linda and Robert in San Francisco where they had comfort food waiting. I had called my health insurance company and found the names of ERs that I could go to that were on plan. We went to one not far from here (very down market, but nice people). I didn't have to wait too long. The nurse and the doctor (except for one nurse) were gay---I joked and said I went to "Gay's Anatomy" hospital. Dr. Friedman examined me and gave me some good drugs for cutting back on swelling and muscle relaxants that make me a little woozy. Got back home at 2---and then by 10ish I was at the Jewish Home doing my thing. Did my lectures, met with the rabbi, and then at four went home and went to sleep.

Today I was back at work doing the morning service, followed by lunch alone, then visiting with residents for a couple of hours. I cancelled havdalah so that I could come home and rest. And fall asleep I did.

Let's hope that the drugs will not allow the swelling to take place. In the meantime, add lots of insurance paperwork to the pile of paper on my desk.

Shalom, new week, new opportunities.

This weekend I'll be back at the Jewish Home--and I'm looking forward to it. Yesterday I was at a brit milah celebration for a brand new baby boy--obviously--and sometimes the parents are reticent and hide the baby. Not this father---he hoisted the baby high above his head after the circumcision to show him off to all concerned. It was a beautiful ceremony, and a nice antidote to the other end of the lifecycle.

Busy week ahead---all of my classes are meeting. Much homework to prepare, much to do.

Shavua tov.

Here are wedding vows for a vow renewal ceremony that I did at the Jewish Home---the names have been changed to protect the innocent:


Blessed are you who come here in the name of God,
We give you our blessing here in the house of God.

This is a time of sacred memory, recalling the words of the prophet Jeremiah: I remember the love of your youth, the love in which you pledged yourself to me.

This is a time of sacred joy and gratitude, recalling the counsel in Ecclesiastes: Enjoy a happy life with the woman you love.

Sheheyano: We thank you, Eternal God, for giving us life, for sustaining us in life and for bringing us to this day.

We celebrate your renewal of your vows with the sheva berechot, the seven blessings.

We sanctify this moment with wine. This cup of wine represents the cup of life. On the day you became husband and wife you promised to drink from a single cup and to share whatever the future would hold for you. You could not know that what the cup of life would hold: how deeply you would drink of joy or sorrow, of the bitter and sweet that come together in any marriage.

Today life's cup stands brimfull of blessings for you; today you taste the sweetness of your years together.

Blessed is Adonai, our God who is sovereign of all, that all is created in His honor.

Blessed is Adonai, our God who is sovereign of all, who creates humans.

Blessed is Adonai, our God who is sovereign of all, that created the human in His image, in the shape of His image, and He established from Him creation for ever. Blessed is Adonai, the creator of humanity.

Blessed is Adonai, who makes joy in Zion for her children.
Blessed is Adonai, who makes groom and bride happy.

Blessed are You, Holy One, for creating happiness and song, celebration and laughter, pleasure and delight. Carry the jubilant voices of this celebration throughout our community; may our happiness extend to the streets of Jerusalem, our holy city. We thank You, loving God, for uniting this man and woman in sacred love.

Harry and Sylvia,

We join together today to mark your fifty years together and to renew your vows that you made more than 50 years ago in Hollywood. Like a Hollywood screenplay, you have had an action-packed life: happiness and companionship, your children Tirtza, Max and Rhoda, a home that you built together. You've also known pain and suffering and have experienced the power of love to overcome adversity.

Your married life started with a bit of drama. Harry, you drove up from LA to the Bay Area every weekend to be with Sylvia ---in the days before I-5 and people driving ninety miles an hour. You proposed--by saying that the driving was going to do you in. Better that you should join together and be in one place!

In a rabbis' studio in Hollywood on September 1, 1954 you first exchanged vows. You crazy kids eloped. Today in front of the Holy Ark with a not yet rabbi at the Jewish Home in San Francisco you reaffirm the love that has carried you throughout the years.

Harry, I think you know that Sylvia is crazy about you--she told me that every day I'm with him I feel so blessed--we're very lucky. A day does not go by where we don't say we love each other. She says that you are the nicest person that she's ever met in her life--and that how profoundly grateful she is she still has you.

Sylvia--I did not know Harry when words came easily to him--I know him now where he has miraculously regained the ability to speak. Still, he is a man of few words--but he communicates powerfully with his eyes, his sparkling and deep eyes, the eyes that you fell in love with, the eyes through which he first saw you. Harry regained his eyesight and when he did he was once again able to take in, Sylvia, the love of his life.

So today we are here to renew your vows.
Harry, do you take Sylvia to be your life partner, your wife, your spouse, the person with whom you will spend your life with, in good times and bad, now and forever?


Sylvia, do you take Harry to be your life partner, your husband, your spouse, the person with whom you will spend your life with, in good times and bad, now and forever?

Please repeat after me:

Ani l'dodi v'dodi li. I am my beloved and my beloved is mine.

Please exchange rings.

Harry and Sylvia, from Hollywood to San Francisco, I am honored to witness your affirmation of your vows and honored to pronounce you life partners, husband and wife, best friends. May your love go from strength to strength as I bless you with the words of our Tradition:

May God bless and guard you.

May God cause His face to shine upon you and be gracious to you.

May God turn His face toward you and grant you peace.

Amen.

Mazel tov.

"The difference between genius and stupidity is that stupidity has no limits."
A. Einstein

One of the people that I quoted in my sermon on Thursday was Rabbi Janet Marder, the rabbi of Congregation Beth Am in Los Altos Hills in Northern California and the life-partner of Rabbi Shelly Marder, my mentor at the Jewish Home. When you quote someone's opinion, you hope you do a good job of it. Fortunately she read the sermon (even though she just made it back from Israel on Friday) and sent me an email telling me that she liked it.

Now THAT's the kind of feedback I like: when a respected (future) colleague weighs in and feels that I've done justice to her words and ideas.

Quoting in the name of someone is important in the Jewish tradition. All over the Talmud there are attributions such as Rabbi Z said in the name of Rabbi Y in the name of Rabbi X....showing a train of oral tradition, but also respect to the original disseminator of the words. I was able to do similarly in my modern-day sermon by using what I thought were Rabbi Marder's powerful words.

This has been a good weekend to disengage from school and work to recharge--a good skill to develop, me thinks.

Today a family with whom I'm friendly celebrated their family patriarch's second bar mitzvah--that is, he is 70 plus 13. He read the haftarah today, the same one he read when he was a 13 year old kid in the New York City area. But this time his children and grandchildren read Torah and had aliyot to the Torah, his son gave the d'var Torah, and his grandchildren lead ashrei and ein kelohaynew....talk about shepping naches!

A few years ago another congregation member turned 85 and there was a celebration where people were able to say nice things about him.

Today, as then, it reminds me of the need to create opportunities to celebrate our loved ones and the milestones in their lives, even if you have to find a reason. It's so much nicer letting people know how much they're loved while they're still around to hear it!

It is finally Friday---my first day off since two weeks ago--and I'm not sure what to do first---laundry, have coffee, write in my blog. So given my mother's urging (see, I listen to her once in a decade...just kiddin', Mom) I'll post here. This was a particularly eventful week because I gave my fourth year sermon at HUC. We get to give one in both the fourth and fifth year. My was intentionally controversial: I wanted to challenge my colleagues to "square a circle"....which is that if we believe in autonomy and free choice, how do we deal with commandedness? A mitzvah comes from the root of the verb for command....the platform of the Reform Movement (http://ccarnet.org/Articles/index.cfm?id=44&pge_id=1606) calls mitzvot "sacred obligations." My question: if they are obligations, to whom are we obligated....Read on!

____________________________

Bo! In this one crisp insistent syllable God commands Moses to come to Pharaoh.

“For I have made his heart and the heart of his servants heavy with stubbornness in order that I may put these my signs among them and that you may recount in the ears of your child and of your child's child how I have been capricious with Egypt, and my signs, which I have placed upon them--that you may know that I am Adonai.”

Moses' task is clear: Moses hears and accepts God's command, knowing what he is to do and God's reason for it.

In hearing God’s commanding voice, Moses was told to come to Pharaoh to make God known to future generations.

Would that it were so easy for Jews living in modernity to hear God's commanding voice with such clarity. Would that we were able to act with the surety of Moses.

But do we believe in a commanding God? Are we not a Movement that endorses autonomy? Don’t we privilege human reason in making choices? In fact, one could hardly come up with a better antonym for autonomy than commandedness.

What happens to God when the only voice we hear is our own?

Rabbi Janet Marder worries about this. She worries about a Judaism that suffers from "religious narcissism". We lose something, she argues, when humanity is absent and Judaism instead becomes a Judaism of convenience, a service of ourselves.

What, then, does Rabbi Marder offer in place of religious narcissism?

She seeks to transcend the tension between individual hegemony and commandedness by pointing out that Judaism has always privileged our choice to partner with God.

She writes: "The tradition itself honors the free choice of individuals to align themselves with Godly ideals and to pursue a Godly path. Jewish ritual at its best is not something we design to meet our private needs; it connects us with something infinitely older, deeper and vaster than ourselves. Jewish practice is not the expression of our personal whims but a discipline to which we subject ourselves, which molds our character in accordance with sacred ideals. Jewish purpose comes from energies uplifted in service to God."

Jewish purpose comes from energies uplifted in service to God. What would it mean to take on this discipline to mold our character in accordance with sacred ideals?

How do we make God known to this and future generations?
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We are the oned who are charged with using all of our persuasive abilities to allow God to penetrate through the autonomous "I" to create “I-Thou."

We are the amplifiers of God's voice.

And we hear God’s voice in mitzvot, sacred obligations as the bridge for being in conscious covenantal relationship with God.

Ritual mitzvot allow us to sanctify time through Shabbat, speak to God in prayer, elevate each meal for the sustenance that it provides, incorporate reminders into our everyday comings and going that every moment of life is precious and valuable.

We have mitzvot that command us to remember the hungry, the poor, the widow, the orphan and the stranger. We are commanded to pursue justice. We are commanded to be fair in our business dealings. We are commanded to be impartial in administering justice. We are commanded to privilege life and abhor the taking of life. We are commanded to choose blessings and life, and not curses.

Consider this: ATT is reintroducing its brand right now with a half-billion dollar campaign. What is ATT advocating with its multi-media "One World" slogan? That there is a single company that can communicate to many different people with varying communications needs.

What if we could have such an opportunity to persuade American Jews of the value of mitzvot, of the sacred obligations that allow us to experience God's commanding voice for good in our world at the same time we respect our gift of discernment?

Instead of seeing ads for cosmetic beauty products with the "perfect model body" we would campaign for the beauty of every human being created b'tzelem elohim.

Instead of promotions for violent movies there would be promotions everywhere for promoting respectful and peaceful communication, harmony, and shleimoot.

Instead of encouragement to buy and consume more, there is encouragement to conserve and preserve the earth.

There is great value in the persuasive power of compelling messages.

We are the ones who can transmit all that we have learned and all that we experience to convey the depth of meaning in mitzvot.

And while we do not have a multi-million dollar campaign for God's voice to be heard, we have our Jewish voices, the voice of Jewish leadership, to multiply God’s voice.

Bo in order to make Me known to your children and your children’s children.

In our voices is the echo of God. Whether it is the voice of revelation at Sinai or the still, small voice of which the prophet speaks, we are commanded to use all of our persuasive abilities to amplify God’s voice so that it WILL be heard.

There's a class I'm in called "Rabbi in the Hospital." Today we met with a neurologist (who I know) and a person who has lived with MS (rather successfully he would say) for nearly 40 years. We were able to learn about neurological conditions and hear from both a doctor and a person living with a chronic illness.

Between my work at the Jewish Home and this class, looks like I'm spending a lot of time right now thinking about the human/body/mind/spirit connection and my role in it all.